WEBVTT
00:00:03.359 --> 00:00:04.400
Good morning everyone.
00:00:04.400 --> 00:00:06.320
Captain Terry Warner here.
00:00:06.320 --> 00:00:10.160
We're gonna hit some more on our podcast with Tom Snow.
00:00:10.160 --> 00:00:14.960
We left off at a pinch point uh the other day.
00:00:14.960 --> 00:00:21.679
So we'll pick up part two, and without further ado, this is an interesting story, and I'm really impressed.
00:00:21.679 --> 00:00:23.600
So, Tom, it's all yours.
00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:24.800
Well, thank you.
00:00:24.800 --> 00:00:25.839
Glad to have it.
00:00:25.839 --> 00:00:26.960
Thanks for having me back.
00:00:27.199 --> 00:00:28.399
You're welcome.
00:00:28.719 --> 00:00:45.759
So uh last time we were had just talking about I had just heard the audible voice of God uh going through all this pain and trauma of dying of cancer and uh my mother dying, and he told me he loved me.
00:00:45.759 --> 00:00:48.960
He said, Someday I'll provide my perfect mate for me.
00:00:48.960 --> 00:00:53.840
Um the yes, the love was obvious.
00:00:53.840 --> 00:00:56.320
He filled the room with love when he said it.
00:00:56.320 --> 00:00:58.240
It was overwhelming.
00:00:58.240 --> 00:01:04.079
The someday I'll provide a perfect mate for you made no sense since I was doomed to be six feet under.
00:01:04.079 --> 00:01:06.079
I assume he hadn't got the memo.
00:01:06.079 --> 00:01:12.079
But uh, you know, he's only the almighty God that spoke the world into being, but he probably didn't get the memo.
00:01:12.079 --> 00:01:13.920
That was all I could think.
00:01:13.920 --> 00:01:22.879
So um at that point, now I'm crying out with all my being, how do I reach this true and living God?
00:01:22.879 --> 00:01:24.000
He's way out.
00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:29.920
I always thought he was way out there in the universe, but now he came close and was so close.
00:01:29.920 --> 00:01:35.439
Uh the Bible tells us he has every hair on our heads numbered.
00:01:35.439 --> 00:01:36.799
And he does.
00:01:36.799 --> 00:01:38.079
He's that close.
00:01:38.079 --> 00:01:39.439
He's more close than we are.
00:01:39.439 --> 00:01:48.480
When we comb our hair and we throw the the the hairs fall out and we throw them in the trash, he actually knows the number of each hair that fell in.
00:01:48.480 --> 00:01:51.760
We we can't imagine a God that great.
00:01:51.760 --> 00:02:01.040
So, but now my my whole being's crying out, how do I reach this this God, this loving God of the universe?
00:02:01.040 --> 00:02:03.599
And I didn't know how.
00:02:03.599 --> 00:02:15.759
About a month later, uh my brother Bruce, middle brother, was in college, and he came home to tell my father and I that he'd just been on an LSD trip.
00:02:15.759 --> 00:02:19.759
Now, 1970, upper middle class family.
00:02:19.759 --> 00:02:23.919
You don't joke about drugs, you don't talk about drugs.
00:02:23.919 --> 00:02:34.000
My father disciplined with the belt and the fist, and he would have beat my brother within an inch of his life if he thought he was doing drugs.
00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:35.439
Any kind of drug.
00:02:35.439 --> 00:02:40.080
So Bruce comes home to tell us about being on an LSD trip.
00:02:40.080 --> 00:02:45.840
It's not a joking matter, and he said that his friends had talked him into going on a trip.
00:02:45.840 --> 00:02:52.479
He'd been on an LSD trip a year prior, had flashbacks for nine months, said he'd never do it again.
00:02:52.479 --> 00:02:55.919
He was talked into it again.
00:02:55.919 --> 00:03:01.439
And while he's on this trip, he's totally his mind's getting freaked out.
00:03:01.439 --> 00:03:06.400
And while he's on the trip, he had heard the gospel.
00:03:06.400 --> 00:03:12.080
He had gone to some churches with his friends that talked about how to come to the Lord.
00:03:12.080 --> 00:03:15.039
He cried out to the Lord, he asked the Lord to save him.
00:03:15.039 --> 00:03:19.280
The Lord instantly sobered him, instantly took him down off this trip.
00:03:19.280 --> 00:03:20.879
He never had a flashback.
00:03:20.879 --> 00:03:25.280
And he came home to tell us this news.
00:03:25.280 --> 00:03:29.439
My father's jaw hits the ground, my jaw hits the ground.
00:03:29.439 --> 00:03:34.400
You know, if my father wasn't so stunned, he probably would have beat my brother.
00:03:34.400 --> 00:03:36.240
But he didn't.
00:03:36.240 --> 00:03:37.919
Too stunned.
00:03:37.919 --> 00:03:44.000
And um so for the next day and a half, I hound Bruce.
00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:47.120
I you know, I'm I'm connecting dots.
00:03:47.120 --> 00:03:50.000
God loves me, I felt that love.
00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:58.080
You know, the only possible way out of all the guilt and pain I feel for and hate for myself for killing my mother, in my belief, you know.
00:03:58.080 --> 00:04:04.319
And at this point, you know, it's like, how do I meet the Lord?
00:04:04.319 --> 00:04:12.319
So he tells me, leads me through the scriptures, he, you know, shows me how to, you know, repent and ask the Lord to come into my life.
00:04:12.319 --> 00:04:13.039
And I did.
00:04:13.039 --> 00:04:16.639
And I did it over and over and over again for a day and a half.
00:04:16.639 --> 00:04:20.879
Bruce had had the Star-Spangled Banner when the Lord saved him.
00:04:20.879 --> 00:04:30.480
He comes instantly down off a trip, he's sober, the glory of God's around him, he's got star-spangled banner, and I got nothing.
00:04:30.480 --> 00:04:34.399
And I'm like, you know, I don't understand.
00:04:34.399 --> 00:04:38.800
And all of a sudden, the devil's whispering my ear, you know what?
00:04:38.800 --> 00:04:41.439
This God stuff's a bunch of bull.
00:04:41.839 --> 00:04:42.959
You didn't get anything.
00:04:43.199 --> 00:04:48.000
No, I you didn't get anything, and and you know, Bruce got it, so what?
00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:50.639
You know, he's kind of off the wall anyway, crazy.
00:04:50.639 --> 00:04:54.160
And you know, I think it's all a bunch of bull.
00:04:54.160 --> 00:04:57.360
He's the devil's just wind and all the time, whispering my ear.
00:04:57.360 --> 00:04:58.319
And you know what?
00:04:58.319 --> 00:05:02.639
You thought about a month ago you heard the audible voice of God.
00:05:02.639 --> 00:05:03.519
You know what?
00:05:03.519 --> 00:05:04.560
That was all in your head.
00:05:04.560 --> 00:05:05.360
You made that up.
00:05:05.360 --> 00:05:07.839
You were probably just a dream, you were probably asleep.
00:05:07.839 --> 00:05:12.160
Now you think you were awake just sitting in your family room, but you know it was a dream.
00:05:12.160 --> 00:05:23.680
And and and this is all a bunch of lies, and and God's not real or close, and you're going to, you know, you're gonna die here shortly, and your life's hell.
00:05:23.680 --> 00:05:26.879
And and and nobody's gonna save you.
00:05:26.879 --> 00:05:29.040
And I bought into his lies.
00:05:29.040 --> 00:05:47.839
And all of a sudden, now at this point, now I only not just hate myself and full of guilt for thinking I killed my mother doing these experiments at asbestos, but now I now have a hate raging inside of me that the devil's lying, that God's not real.
00:05:47.839 --> 00:05:49.759
So now I'm just like mad at God.
00:05:49.759 --> 00:05:58.079
Okay, so the devil's winning big time, and he's just laughing his tail off, you know, spinning me in in circles.
00:05:58.079 --> 00:06:02.800
And so at this point, I start to go totally haywire.
00:06:02.800 --> 00:06:13.519
And for the next eight months, the devil was gonna win big time, and so I took and get a little sip of coffee.
00:06:15.279 --> 00:06:22.399
We have a tendency to think that God talks to us like he talks to everybody, but he talks to each person individually.
00:06:23.040 --> 00:06:34.720
Oh, he does, you know, and we can all hear the still small, quiet voice, yes, but we have to be careful because there's other voices we hear, and the biggest voice that has trained us is the devil.
00:06:34.720 --> 00:06:40.800
Yes, you know, he's the God of this world, and we were raised under his tutelage.
00:06:40.800 --> 00:06:48.800
So we were raised, you know, this is what's called the old man, the old nature, the flesh.
00:06:48.800 --> 00:06:55.439
We were raised under the tutelage of the God of this world, and he taught us to run the maze.
00:06:55.439 --> 00:06:58.079
He can poke us this way, we'll do something.
00:06:58.079 --> 00:07:00.319
He'll poke us another way, we'll do something else.
00:07:00.319 --> 00:07:03.439
He'll ring a bell, we'll do it again something.
00:07:03.439 --> 00:07:06.480
He'll put a piece of cheese, we'll run after it.
00:07:06.480 --> 00:07:10.160
He's been in control, and he taught us how to think.
00:07:10.160 --> 00:07:20.240
And so he we're actually so well taught, all he has to do is just throw a little word in our in our ears, and we go, oh yeah, yeah, and we just jump right on to that nature.
00:07:20.480 --> 00:07:25.199
Yeah, we have a tendency to not realize that it's the spirit that's saved.
00:07:25.199 --> 00:07:42.000
The soul is renewed with renewing in your mind, you will remove and the carnal is your body, and uh the the carnal and the soul have a tough time grasping righteousness and being born again.
00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:42.639
Sorry.
00:07:42.959 --> 00:07:43.920
No, you're you're right.
00:07:43.920 --> 00:07:47.839
We we weren't raised, we were raised totally opposite, right?
00:07:47.839 --> 00:07:54.800
By the God of this world who has full of pride and ego, thought he was equal to God, got kicked out of heaven.
00:07:54.800 --> 00:07:57.120
He's down here ruling over us.
00:07:57.120 --> 00:07:59.519
He's the sadists of sadists.
00:07:59.519 --> 00:08:03.680
If he had a choice, he would just torture us and destroy us instantly.
00:08:03.680 --> 00:08:06.160
Well, very shortly, he'd a lot of torture.
00:08:06.160 --> 00:08:10.000
But the father doesn't let him read Job.
00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:14.720
You know, he puts a hedge, and this is the earth's a testing ground.
00:08:14.720 --> 00:08:18.319
We all think, oh, you get saved, life's gonna be a bowl of cherries.
00:08:18.319 --> 00:08:20.879
No, it's not, not at all.
00:08:20.879 --> 00:08:26.000
You be around for a while, you know that it's going to hell and back, but guess what?
00:08:26.000 --> 00:08:30.399
We get to walk with the true and living God as we walk through this hell and back.
00:08:30.399 --> 00:08:32.000
The earth's a testing ground.
00:08:32.240 --> 00:08:34.159
We arisen with him, right?
00:08:34.240 --> 00:08:38.960
And as you said, you know, what you're talking about is sanctification, right?
00:08:38.960 --> 00:08:50.320
Which is the process, it's a lifelong process of purifying, of us giving areas of our soul to the Lord and letting him take over.
00:08:50.320 --> 00:08:57.120
That's being renewed in the spirit, that's putting on the new man, the new mind in Christ.
00:08:57.120 --> 00:09:00.399
And so that's where it's a lifelong process.
00:09:00.399 --> 00:09:08.159
Anybody who says I'm saved and sanctified, salvation is we were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit the day we asked him to come in.
00:09:08.159 --> 00:09:10.320
I was sealed that day, I just didn't know it.
00:09:10.320 --> 00:09:11.919
You know, you don't have to feel it.
00:09:11.919 --> 00:09:13.440
You don't feel it all the time.
00:09:13.440 --> 00:09:15.840
If you go on feelings, it's ridiculous.
00:09:15.840 --> 00:09:19.519
Feelings is in our soul, where our heart and our mind is.
00:09:19.519 --> 00:09:23.919
And anybody who says they're saved and sanctified, yeah, we're saved.
00:09:23.919 --> 00:09:27.200
We got sealed with the Holy Spirit, but sanctified not at all.
00:09:27.200 --> 00:09:28.399
That's the process.
00:09:28.399 --> 00:09:33.519
It's a, and if anybody says they are, they're either dead or liars.
00:09:33.519 --> 00:09:45.120
Because the only time you're going to be sanctified is when you die, and then you come before the Lord, and he will evaluate, you know, our souls, how we did we yield to the true and living God.
00:09:45.120 --> 00:09:47.200
Not did we walk a perfect life.
00:09:47.200 --> 00:09:51.759
I I and I'm I'm energy, I'm a tangent guy, so I'll just throw this in.
00:09:51.759 --> 00:09:56.799
But I hate fake religiosity, I hate fake spirituality.
00:09:56.799 --> 00:09:59.120
We are not to act all religious.
00:09:59.120 --> 00:10:06.720
God doesn't respond isn't impressed with we put on a Sunday smile, but on the inside we're going, you know, live in hell.
00:10:06.879 --> 00:10:13.039
He wants to hold our hands like this, and holding our hands like this, and looking holding, yeah, I know.
00:10:13.360 --> 00:10:17.679
Yeah, we we don't impress God because he knows the heart, he knows the truth.
00:10:17.679 --> 00:10:24.399
And if we yield to him, we learn just to yield to him and let his righteousness come through.
00:10:24.399 --> 00:10:27.360
It's his righteousness that's in Christ, not us.
00:10:27.360 --> 00:10:29.759
So back to the story.
00:10:29.759 --> 00:10:30.879
So here I am.
00:10:30.879 --> 00:10:36.879
I'm now buying into well, God's abandoned you, so now you should just be mad at him.
00:10:36.879 --> 00:10:46.559
And I'm like listening to that voice going, yeah, I just should be mad, you know, because now I'm gonna die and I don't know where I'm going, and and and the salvation thing didn't work.
00:10:46.559 --> 00:10:50.480
And I probably was just, I no, I heard the audible voice of God.
00:10:50.480 --> 00:10:52.000
It shook the whole room I was in.
00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:52.960
I was wide awake.
00:10:52.960 --> 00:10:54.320
It was the middle of the afternoon.
00:10:54.320 --> 00:10:57.519
I just got home from school, but you know what?
00:10:57.519 --> 00:10:59.360
I believe the lie of the devil.
00:10:59.360 --> 00:11:02.559
I'll bet you what it was just something I made up.
00:11:02.559 --> 00:11:05.440
So I'm buying into his baloney sandwich.
00:11:05.440 --> 00:11:12.639
By the way, I have a 12-year-old daughter, and so in our house, when we talk about BS, we call it baloney sandwich.
00:11:12.639 --> 00:11:20.080
So you all know what a BS is, but you know in my house with a 12-year-old daughter, it's baloney sandwich.
00:11:20.080 --> 00:11:24.720
So he was feeding me baloney sandwiches, and I'm buying it all day long.
00:11:24.720 --> 00:11:32.720
And so uh at this point, I I had to, I just went crazy.
00:11:32.720 --> 00:11:38.080
I I started drinking, I became the second biggest drinker in my high school.
00:11:38.080 --> 00:11:45.679
Uh, I had talked my father into getting me a little motorcycle uh because I wanted the wind blowing in my face.
00:11:45.679 --> 00:11:51.279
Uh I knew that to get that, I would have to get a job.
00:11:51.279 --> 00:11:53.759
That's a rule in the family, and I believe in that anyway.
00:11:53.759 --> 00:11:56.080
I don't give kids, I don't give my kids anything.
00:11:56.080 --> 00:11:58.480
You know, you earn it, you work it for it.
00:11:58.480 --> 00:12:07.279
And so um I to do that though, I'd have to get a job in 1970.
00:12:07.279 --> 00:12:10.159
The only thing available to me was food handling.
00:12:10.159 --> 00:12:14.399
Uh, and to do that, I'd have to get a food handler's permit.
00:12:14.399 --> 00:12:20.399
That meant go to the county clinic, get an X-ray, and a blood test.
00:12:20.399 --> 00:12:38.960
I knew now that tumor that had started the size of a walnut was now probably the size of a softball, and I knew it's going to show up on the x-ray, and then the blood test, they could probably do a deeper dive into the blood test to find out what's going on.
00:12:38.960 --> 00:12:43.519
Cancer's not a communicable disease, but they would now know.
00:12:43.519 --> 00:12:46.960
Well, they granted me the food handler's permit.
00:12:46.960 --> 00:12:49.519
I got my job, I got my motorcycle.
00:12:49.519 --> 00:13:09.120
I came walking home one day uh from school, and as I come walking home, yeah, this is about a week after I got my permit, my father's car was home in the drive, unusual, middle of the day, April uh day.
00:13:09.120 --> 00:13:17.440
Come and as I came walking at the door, I knew because I knew because I knew, just like God can let us know, the Holy Spirit.
00:13:17.440 --> 00:13:21.759
And I knew my father'd gotten the letter talk telling about the cancer.
00:13:21.759 --> 00:13:24.000
So I knew my secret was going to be out.
00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:26.720
Now I figured my father's a hard rock.
00:13:26.720 --> 00:13:29.440
Uh, you know, he doesn't show love.
00:13:29.440 --> 00:13:31.360
My mother's the only one who showed love.
00:13:31.360 --> 00:13:34.559
But I thought, well, maybe he could figuratively put his arm around me.
00:13:34.559 --> 00:13:37.039
I I know I don't deserve medical attention.
00:13:37.039 --> 00:13:38.559
He could maybe do that.
00:13:38.559 --> 00:13:40.320
It might be a nice gesture.
00:13:40.320 --> 00:13:41.679
I don't deserve it.
00:13:41.679 --> 00:13:49.039
You know, because I have the guilt of the world that I doing these experiments had killed my mother and caused the cancer to me.
00:13:49.039 --> 00:13:50.799
So I don't deserve it.
00:13:50.799 --> 00:13:57.759
But I came walking in and I knew because I knew, and as I came walking in the door, he's got a fire in the fireplace.
00:13:57.759 --> 00:13:59.679
80-some degree April day.
00:13:59.679 --> 00:14:04.879
You don't need a fire, he loves fires, but you know, that's a nighttime thing, and it wasn't cold.
00:14:04.879 --> 00:14:10.960
And he came walking in, and as soon as I walk in the door, he looks like the cat that swallowed the canary.
00:14:10.960 --> 00:14:14.639
And he flips this letter into the fire.
00:14:14.639 --> 00:14:17.440
And I got really sarcastic.
00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:20.320
And I said, What you doing?
00:14:20.320 --> 00:14:22.399
Nothing, nothing.
00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:25.600
Well, no, no, why why why are you doing a fire in the middle of the day?
00:14:25.600 --> 00:14:26.879
I'm just burning trash.
00:14:26.879 --> 00:14:29.200
We have trash pickup, you don't need that.
00:14:29.200 --> 00:14:31.600
Uh, yeah, I'm just burning trash.
00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:33.200
Well, why are you doing that?
00:14:33.200 --> 00:14:35.919
And that looked like a letter you threw in there.
00:14:35.919 --> 00:14:38.720
Was that a letter you threw in the fire?
00:14:38.720 --> 00:14:41.279
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:47.279
Also, I'm realizing, okay, I've known about this for about six or seven months.
00:14:47.279 --> 00:14:58.080
He's just found out that his son, youngest of three, is going to die, just like his wife, my mother, six or seven months prior.
00:14:58.080 --> 00:15:00.720
I'm sure it's a little bit of too much information.
00:15:00.720 --> 00:15:07.600
Let me just give him a break, you know, and give him a little time to assimilate what he's just learned.
00:15:07.600 --> 00:15:19.759
Well, I come home about a week later, and I come walking in the door, my father's home again early, and there's another car in the drive, unusual, but I thought maybe it's business.
00:15:19.759 --> 00:15:22.320
Come walking in and he calls me into the living room.
00:15:22.320 --> 00:15:23.840
He says, Tommy, come in.
00:15:23.840 --> 00:15:29.200
And he has these two insurance agents sitting in the living room.
00:15:29.200 --> 00:15:30.879
And I'm what?
00:15:30.879 --> 00:15:39.200
And so, long story short, he takes out a multi-million dollar life insurance policy on me.
00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:44.639
And I'm going, what in the sorry if I cuss, what in the hell?
00:15:44.639 --> 00:15:47.919
What in the hell are you doing?
00:15:47.919 --> 00:15:52.399
You know, it's like no, I know you're a hard rock.
00:15:52.399 --> 00:15:54.399
I didn't think you were that callous.
00:15:54.399 --> 00:15:58.080
You want to cash in on my death?
00:15:58.080 --> 00:16:03.120
He didn't take an insurance policy out on my two older brothers, just me.
00:16:03.120 --> 00:16:05.759
Golly gee, wonder why.
00:16:05.759 --> 00:16:10.639
He hadn't told anybody about you know me dying.
00:16:10.639 --> 00:16:11.919
He hadn't told me.
00:16:11.919 --> 00:16:20.799
And I'm thinking the back of my mind, I've known for six months, and you just found out now you think you know it all, and you're gonna do this to me.
00:16:20.799 --> 00:16:33.120
And now hate and anger and rage and unforgiveness are welling up in me against him, and the devil's having a heyday, and I'm just full of hate and wrath and unforgiveness.
00:16:33.120 --> 00:16:37.919
And so now I'm gonna go.
00:16:37.919 --> 00:16:39.759
You think I'm gonna spire out before?
00:16:39.759 --> 00:16:41.840
Now I'm spiraling out of control.
00:16:41.840 --> 00:16:56.480
And I sold everything I owned and everything he owned that I could get my hands on, and I bought an old chopper in box, in boxes, an old I'm chopper, old Hartley in boxes, old 49 Hartley, and I built it into a chopper.
00:16:56.480 --> 00:17:07.519
And I started writing with the Hell's Angels, and now I'm not only the second biggest drinker in school, but now I'm a scuzzball that nobody would want to meet.
00:17:07.519 --> 00:17:14.559
My people in my high school are like backing off from this long-haired, hippie biker gang, crazy.
00:17:14.559 --> 00:17:26.400
They don't like stay away from this person, and I don't care because my life is hell, and I'm going to hell, and I'm dying, and I know I'm dying.
00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:29.279
And so, why do I care what people think?
00:17:29.279 --> 00:17:34.880
And so I, as I say, I just I'm spiraling.
00:17:34.880 --> 00:17:44.400
I would drink a fifth of whiskey in two hours and then ride home on my motorcycle, and I was proud that I could do that.
00:17:44.400 --> 00:17:52.000
And then I would be riding along on a four-lane highway, and I would be starting in the rightmost lane, all of a sudden wake up.
00:17:52.000 --> 00:17:56.960
I was past the left, the fourth lane to the left and ready to go in the ditch.
00:17:56.960 --> 00:18:07.519
And then all of a sudden, I'd just feel like I was shoved back over to the right lane, and then I'd wake up later and I was cross four lanes, about ready to go in the ditch, and get shoved back.
00:18:07.519 --> 00:18:13.599
There's a lot of badly bruised angels that I appreciate that were looking out for me.
00:18:13.599 --> 00:18:20.480
It's wonderful to have a praying mother and have a praying relative, and it's wonderful to have a God who loves us.
00:18:20.480 --> 00:18:23.920
Yes, and and he was giving me a lot of chances.
00:18:23.920 --> 00:18:30.400
So I'm I'm spiring, I've you know, believed every lie the devil told me.
00:18:30.400 --> 00:18:35.359
He's winning, and I'm just I'm angry.
00:18:35.359 --> 00:18:46.720
And I I formulated a plan, and my plan was this as soon as I got that motorcycle running good enough, where it would leave the city, Columbus, Ohio.
00:18:46.720 --> 00:18:49.119
And by the way, it wouldn't.
00:18:49.119 --> 00:18:51.759
Every time I got near the city's edge, it'd break.
00:18:51.759 --> 00:18:55.680
It's like an angel with a sword touching it, going, uh, there you go.